sunshine

radhi tu billahi rabba wabil islami dina wabi muhammadin nabiyya warasula

Updates 3 February 11, 2010

Filed under: ~homey~ — nurjannahsunshine @ 1:43 pm

Assalamualaikum wbt. Peace be upon all of you. 😉

I’m still unable to fulfil my promise of publishing a new entry on Genesis of Zionism II. Blame the difficult thick indonesian dialect in the articles i had to go through. 😕 And also, blame the laziness that has overpowered me these last few weeks. 👿

Chekgu Nurjannah

I am now a teacher at a tuition center on weekends, besides teaching at home on weekdays. I teach modern math and additional math for form 4, the subjects that were not in my list on my resume. Physics and chemistry classes have not yet started since the students who gave in names for the classes are not ready to start the classes. 😐

There are only 5 students in my class. Days before i was so scared to start teaching because i imagined the class to be full of students, well, at least 10. On the day itself I was actually quite glad to have only a few number of them because i only gather them around my table to teach, rather than having to stand, write on board and talk loudly.

After my second class (last Saturday), i found myself telling mabah about a student in my class. He seemed not interested to study, and the way he sit and showed his bored face silently burned me into anger. But of course i didnt express my anger. ‘Muka kering’ was helpful. 😉

However, i kind of regret to share those kind of bad stories about my own student to mabah when finally i couldnt come out with anything helpful to solve the crisis. 😦

So, chekgu nurjannah, it is time for you to be more than a math teacher – be a murabbiah! 😀

Saina Visit

Last weekend, i became a facilitator in a motivational course for form 5 (Lithium 0610). Most of the facilitators were from Fortress 0105. There were only two from de Fifa 0004. Hu. I just wished to have my girlfriends there. It would be very different with lots of fun. 😎

There were only 4 female facilitators. It was so good to have Adlin Nadia, Farah Husna and Ilham. An unexpected reunion. We didnt know each other well at school, but the 2days 1night program made us sisters! 😀

I believe the whole program was beneficial for the students especially the talks. The coordinator, Ucu, really had a plan in his mind on what kind of mentality to instil into the students and he really did so. Congratulations to Ucu and his team. I bet i wasnt helpful enough. Just helpful to add in numbers to female facilitators. Hu.

During the program, whenever i looked at the crowd of students, be it in group activities or talks in surau or outdoor games, i always wonder: if i were to be one of them, which one among the girls would i be? :mrgreen: Because throughout my schooling years, i always felt myself being invisible. Hu. In class, I rarely answered questions, what more asked questions. Whenever i was in a meeting or in an assembly, i always asked myself: would anybody notice if i dont come? [Questioning whether i really was invisible to others. Not as an excuse to skip meeting and assembly :P] Guess what, now that i have grown up, when i asked the question to my friends they would laugh and say: NO. 😀 I talked a lot to those i knew. You notice too, right. 😉 So i couldnt be invisible to my friends and people around me. But to most of my juniors, yes, they saw me as a serious and quiet senior. Adlin Nadia said, when she knew i was coming for the program, she thought of what to chat with me. She said, would it be mere ‘Hye, how are you’ with lots of silence? I found the question funny. She really thought i was a quiet person. 😛

We only met Cikgu Azman, Ustazah Siti Esah, Ustazah Habsyah and few other new teachers. I really need to revisit saina to see the other teachers. Owh, windunye.

Saina changed a lot. The last time i came to visit was before Sabeelah’s wedding feast. Now, there is a 4-storey building under construction that you can see even when you are at the guard house. In the dining hall, the students have to use their own cutlery [Adlin and i borrowed from a form 4 junior 😉 ]. On Friday evening, we used to have general cleaning if not we study in Aspuri, but that day i saw many groups of girls studying under the shades in front of surau where volleyball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts and football field could be seen. To study there was a brave action i would say, because all the courts, field and the surau itself were full with boys and families (of the students). Though there was nothing to be scared off to, shyness of being in crowd of people didnt let us be exposed too much. I now agree that evolution has taken place. 😛

I managed to look at saina night skies. 🙂 But the moon was not out so it was quite dark. I miss being sky-holic at school.

I wanted to visit KH Sains Pertanian site badly. But i couldnt find time to do so. When i looked at it from far (the site is quite far away from other buildings) , i remembered we used to parcticed choir and choral speaking there. Then in form 2, we breed puyuh there. That was soooo fun. We fed the puyuhs, clean their cage [few enthusiastic girls really climbed into and clean the cage. I wasnt that enthusiastic. Hehe], and when they grew up, the boys slaughtered and clean them while the girls fried them. We had a big feast! 😀 Also at KH Sains Pertanian site, we used to plant ladyfingers and corns. I remember a shocking day when we found out half of our plantation had broken and bent to one side. I didnt believe it to be a sabotage done by students. They coulnt be too determined to do it on one night, on many plants, at a remote dark site at night without leaving any footprints. 😯 And at the same site, in form 3, each of us had a small plot of soil that we have to decorate. Siti Salwa and Nadiatul Shima had beautifully decorated theirs. 🙂 Mine was not only ugly but had been sabotaged by boys. They poured water till everything submerged and died. I didnt know who did that. But it showed that i surely had enemies on their side. 👿

Every year i went through there was so fun. I passed through each level of maturity with many things learnt. When i looked back, some memories were delightful, others were shameful. But i grew up anyway. 😉

All in all, i miss saina and my whole life there. 😆

p/s: May my days ahead are much brighter in Brighton. 😛

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Pesanan Ringkas January 27, 2010

Filed under: ~homey~ — nurjannahsunshine @ 1:24 pm

Assalamualaikum wbt wahai teman2 yang kukasihi.. 😉

Dalam tempoh kurang dari seminggu, sudah 4 berita kematian saya dengar. Takziah buat keluarga Allahyarham/ah. [I’m pretty speechless about this. I received the 4th news early this morning. I pray to Allah that my lasts days on earth are filled with His redha to my actions. Ameen ya Rabb.]

Ironinya, dua tiga hari kebelakangan ini, kemalasan kian terbit dalam diri. [nurjannah!!! – I’m sick of myself who could spend hours in front of TV at night, do household chores lazily and i found myself to have no motivation to keep reading. If you care to know, this is what we call as syndrome M. Or better known as syndrome Malas. – nurjannah, tell youself that you hate laziness!]. Teringat pesan seorang sahabat, ‘futur itu biasa. Tapi jangan rasa senang dalam kefuturan. Kena paksa juga diri (agar sekurang2nya minimum amal masih terlaksana)’. 😦

Cukup dengan aduan terbaru.

Saya masih lagi menulis tentang Genesis of Zionism II. Agak memeningkan sebenarnya. Sejarahnya tu satu lah peningnya. Bahasa indonesia yang pekat juga dalam artikel2 asal menambah pening saya. :mrgreen:

Selain itu, hari ni saya sedikit gembira sebab baru tahu Hadi akan sampai rumah pagi esok (insyaAllah). Hm. Rindu juga pada Hadi ya. Selama ni kalau dia ada asyik garang sangat. Hu.

Sekian dulu. Selamat bermujahadah buat kalian. Doakan saya tak hanyut dengan cuti panjang yang menggugah iman ini.

 

Updates 2 January 7, 2010

Filed under: ~a sharing sunshine is a caring sunshine~,~homey~ — nurjannahsunshine @ 1:32 pm

Alhamdulillahirrabbil’alameen.

Setakat ni, cuti yang dah hampir sebulan ni dapat saya lalui dengan baik. Sangat seronok! 😀

Kenduri Kak Huda

Bila bangun pagi pada 12.12.09 lepas, saya dalam tak percaya, menyaksikan majlis pertunangan dan akad nikah kakak tersayang. Dengan kilatan flash2 kamera sepanjang2 majlis, saya tak tahu lagi nak berlari ke mana. Tapi saya nak sangat menyaksikan semua dari dekat. Melihat kak huda, saya rasa dia tak kalah macam artis. Sebab dialah center of attraction nya. Memang majlis meraikan hari bahagia dia. Jadi bila dapat peluang sembang dengan kak huda hari tu, saya sukaa sangat. Tiba2 rasa rindu pada kakak yang ada di depan mata. Kalau bercakap dengannya, saya saja menambah2 isi sebab nak cakap lama2 dengannya. 😉 

Semasa majlis nikah kak huda, menangis juga cik sunshine. Bukan kerana bakal bertambah insan2 untk berkongsi kak huda (tak langsung. she deserved to be loved). Tapi, bila imam bagi intro sebelum akad tu, saya rasa sebak sangat. Sebabnya, kalau dari kecik saya boleh join kak huda buat apa saja, boleh tolong kak huda macam2, boleh rasa sama bila kena marah mabah, tapi tanggungjawab baru kak huda ni buat jannah langsung tak main peranan sama banyak. Moga tanggungjwab berat baru kak huda dapat kak huda lalui penuh sabar dan ikhlas. Tabahlah berdiri, kakak ku. Moga bahagia selalu~ 😉

Kedua2 majlis berlangsung dengan lancarnya. Alhamdulillah.

Kendurinya adalah pada 13.12.09. Saya antara yang lambat bersiap pagi tu. Dah lewat pun, dengan berbaju jubah pink saya cuma sarungkan tudung hitam, masih bekerja mengubah kereta yang mengahalang jalan masuk. Aish. Menghilangkan mood ber-bedak. Ramai yang hadir. Jiran2 sangat baik dalam melancarkan majlis.

Cuti Terpanjang

Sibuk dengan kenduri -> bercuti di Langkawi (owh, sangat best! 😀 merindui setiap detik di sana) -> kemas rumah -> kemas rumah -> balik kampung di Segamat -> membaca + masak + kemas rumah.

 

Saya kini di fasa membaca+masak+kemas rumah… Owh, sangat seronok. Dah lama mencari masa begini dalam hidup ni untuk duduk membaca lama2. Alhamdulillah dah habiskan beberapa buku (tiba2 terfikir, apa yang berjaya disimpan dalam stor memori cik nurjannah… Janganlah begini. Hu.). Tak pe, nanti insyaAllah saya kongsi.

Masak pun ok2 jugak. Bila mama suruh masak, saya merengek2 berlakon malas. Padahal suka. Hehehe~ Ayam masak merah terlebih pedas, kari udang sedap (as claimed by abah. Though I think I should put in more salt. Hehe.), sayur air ok, nasi goreng ok, ayam kicap ok. Yay!!! Sejak dari lepas spm lagi asyik kaki bangku je di dapur. Akhirnya berjaya sedikit lincah.

Oh ye, saya kehilangan external hard disk dan charger untuk digital camera.

Charger tu, hilang semasa dipinjam orang. Tapi tak pe. Boleh kurangkan penyakit bergambar.

External hard disk tu…emmm. Mula2 nak berlatih miliki jiwa besar. Jadi, saya diam kan. Semua eBook dan bahan2 yang telah didownload insyaAllah boleh dapat semula dari teman2. Cuma satu malam tu, saya terfikir -> bukan ke SEMUA gambar2 jannah (scanned pics taken at saina, pics at intec, pics of umrah, pics of all holiday trips, pics at imu etc) dalam tu? Gulp.

Saya rasa cam external hard disk tu dekat je dengan saya. Tapi tak jumpa2. 😦

Oh ye, laptop saya rosak ditangan orang yang pinjam. Tak pe. Kalau tak, mungkin saya lebih banyak menulis daripada membaca. Sungguh tak best.

Saya nak sangat menulis pasal ilmu2 perubatan (seperti di claim dalam entri sebelum ni). Tapi gagal mula dek kehilangan external hard disk yang memuatkan eBook2 perubatan yang sangat berguna bagi saya.

Kerinduan

Pada sahabat2 (kalian tahu siapa kalian), adik2 imu, kak huda (yang kini dah kembali ke UPM menghabiskan projek master nya), beebs (cant wait to have u near in penang 😉 ), ainna (I cant believe there is only ONE pic of us alone that I like. If I frame it, I wud have none in my album. hu~), kawan2 saina seantero Malaysia dan dunia (apa khabar kalian? Lama tak mendengar khabar berita. Rindu sangat.), kawan2 imu yang tengah bercuti dan bersiap untuk terbang (yasmin, I miss u dearly) dan teman2 sepanjang perjalan hidup cik nurjannah.

Saya banyak melihat foto2 lama, membaca diari2 lama, nota2 lama etc ketika mengemas rumah. Rindu bukan kepalang buat teman2 lama. Moga kalian dalam peliharaan Allah selalu.

p/s: lepas ni bercadang menjadi guru pula. Kalian doakan ya.

 

Joanna Sunshine…What a Coincidence! July 21, 2009

Filed under: ~homey~ — nurjannahsunshine @ 7:01 pm

On last Friday night, as I sat down opposite Hadi to monitor him studying, I also had my eyes stick on the TV (he studied in front of TV). I didn’t know what the movie was about, not even the title. After watching it for a few seconds, a man in the movie greeted a lady saying, ‘hi Sunshine’… I thought, ‘wo, this is interesting. Some one across the globe is called sunshine as well’. 😀

Later in another scene, that lady was with her friend, and she was called ‘Jo’. That made me guessing her full name. Could it be…? 😛

When she was with her father, her father called her ‘Joanna’! Hoho. What a coincidence!

The movie that made me lose my concentration on Hadi

The movie that made me lose my concentration on Hadi

At the age of 13 and 14 my email address was joe_anna@hotmail.com. And if you flip through my notebooks that I used at that time, you would find several signatures for Joanna. And my nickname written in class or in dormitory was ‘Joe’. However, only few people called me ‘Jo’. And 1 person who still calls me ‘Jo’ is Kak Shyfa! 😉 Well, the word ‘Joanna’ was derived from my own name ‘Jannah’.

At that age, I was so 😎 and wanted to have a modernized name (hehe), but a bit 😕 to appreciate own real name.

We learnt from mistakes, don’t we? And so, I did. When I was 15 and 16, on the class wall, my name was still written as ‘Joe’. But I didn’t bother much about it anymore. I was pretty sick with my own nickname. The nickname kills the meaning behind my name. So I changed my email address.

The word ‘Sunshine’ is nothing but a word that I pick from a poem which I like at the age of 14. A poem written by Louisa J. Alcott. It was a short poem but inspiring. So don’t make any wild guesses anymore about where this word came from, ok? 😉

Whatever our names are, they should me meaningful. Everytime we are called by our names, it is best if our names become du’a for us. If not, let the names be ones that we love to be called with. No more modernized cute nickname. 😛

p/s: Ainna dearie, do you remember I was ‘Elizabeth’ and you were ‘Jessica’? 😉 and we gave lots of nicknames to our friends so that we could talk about them without them knowing it (note: we didn’t label people. We only gave other names.). Hehe. Miss u, dear. 🙂

Written on 19th July 09

 

Homesick~ July 16, 2009

Filed under: ~homey~ — nurjannahsunshine @ 4:10 pm

When I was a little girl, whenever I was scolded, I would always thought of running away from my house. At that time, in my mind, I would picture my parents to be soo worried and cry and cry for me to come back. And I wanted them to regret for scolding me. At the age of 7 when I thought that way, I told myself, ‘wait till I am in standard 3 (to do so)!’… Now I am 22. I never even pack a bag to run away from home. 😉

smile! ;)

When I was 12, I always wanted to go to a boarding school for my secondary level of schooling. I prayed to be sent to STF, TKC or SSP. Abah always boost my motivation to do well in exams, and Alhamdulillah I did. My primary school teachers told me that I should have no worries as I was in the 1st in their namelist sent for boarding school. But Allah knows best. I only received an offer letter to SMK Sultanah Asma, Alor Star. I was offered a place in the hostel too.

Throughout my few weeks there, I couldn’t stop thinking about mabah and home. I was badly feeling homesick!! 😦

My mind and soul were ‘badly tortured’ by the sense of missing. I cried before sleep and in class, I skipped prayers, I didn’t do my homework, I didn’t study AT ALL (I ate chocolates, biscuits, maggi, fruits etc during prep hours), I broke school rules (I used public telephone during prohibited time, and I used a type of school shoes which were not allowed), I broke hostel rule (I didn’t put on hostel uniform – because I didn’t have one. I didn’t want to have to) and I made such a big issue regarding hostel’s orientation system (mama was so much influenced, so she called the school to get an explanation and later the seniors were warned). I did everything listed as a protest for ‘why did mabah send me away from them?!’. 😥

I called mama every single gap of my activities. Everyday I would call her 6-7 times (however, if I was mad at her, I would only call 5 times in a day). I remember her kindly saying, ‘mana anak mama yang independent dan berani tu?’. Taking negatively, I would cry even more for thinking she hated it when I called her. I made mabah to come visited my every alternating days. 😆

Silently, I always question myself, ‘why can’t I live on my own? wasn’t this what I always wanted? (- to stay away from home?). Somehow, I was grateful I was not sent far away in the boarding schools I wished for. There, in SMK Asma, I learnt the meaning of homesickness.

I left SMK Asma and I started my new life in SMS Pokok Sena. My homesick wasn’t so bad because I had my dearly sister, Nazli Huda, for 3 years. 😀 I always bugged her. I needed attention from someone I knew. There, in SMS Pokok Sena, I learnt that my sister loves me (and I love her even more! 😉 )

D11

When my sister left SAINA, I noticed that I used public phones even more than when I was in lower form. My friends also agree that as we ‘aged’, we would miss home even more. 😉

In International Education Center, Shah Alam, where I did my A-levels, I had severe attacks of homesick (and schoolsick) on my early days there. I was very much demotivated to go to class and I always spent my weekends by going out to town. Later, I got myself busy with ALMEC and usrah. The sickness slowly subsided but it had never really gone.

Now, I am already a big girl. I learnt that it is good to miss home because our parents do miss us as much. But missing  anyone or anybody too much is quite destructive ast it could affect concentration in solah and in other activities. 

Missing Allah and His messenger is what we should strive for because it will guide our hearts to be immune to worldly things and think about The Day when we could see them. Maybe we should always check our level of imaan so that we always deeply missing Allah’s love and guidance, and missing to meet Muhammad saw. 🙂

p/s: I pray Allah gives me double-triple strength to be abroad, one day if He wills.